Sunday, November 20, 2016

Thoughts on the Savior

 Today we visited Daryl and Rachel's ward because the girls were going to be in the primary program. It was wonderful and then when it was over, Avery was ready to take Tyler with her to her class. He was hesitant because it was new and insisted that I go with him. While I was sitting in the class, the teachers were talking about when the Savior was with Pilate and Pilate did not want to give judgement that the Savior did something wrong. He told the people three times that he did not think that Jesus was guilty.

Luke 23:22
 And he said unto them the third time, Why, what evil hath he done? I have found no cause of death in him: I will therefore chastise him, and let him go.

 Yet the people yelled "Crucify him!" Pilate then asks if Barrabas should be released. Barrabas was one who had already been condemned on previous charges and yet the people released Barrabas.
 But why? They thought there was a danger in letting the Savior go. Did he do anything wrong? No, He was perfect. A while later He carried his own cross. The same one that held him up. Nails were drilled into his feet and hands. He also had a crown of thorns placed on His head. He knew that He would die for us and yet this is how He responded:

Luke 23:34
 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.

 How great it was that the Savior asked for their forgiveness because they didn't understand what was really going on. There were two thieves that were hung with him. One told him that if He was the Son of God to get all three of them down. He did not. The other thief asked the Savior to remember him.

Luke 23:42
 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.

 I never thought about the conversation Jesus had with the two men that He was crucified with. These two men had totally different attitudes. Tyler and I continued to talk about this and we discussed how the soldiers treated Him, how the women wept and how the earth became dark. I always wonder what it would be like to be there. Not that I would want to see the Savior suffer, but that there were also many miracles that these people witnessed and they didn't even know it. Its easy for me to say that they didn't believe but it was apparent of those who wanted to crucify Him that they thought He was not the Son of  God and they didn't believe it till He was on the cross, dying for all of us so that we can one day return to Him and Heavenly Father.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014


   There are times in our lives where we are not aware of everything happening around us. We think the world is crashing down around us and yet we are not looking at the good stuff that is happening. I have been guilty of this many times in my life and at this point today I have tried to look at all the blessings I do have. I am blessed with wonderful family and friends who hold me together when my pieces want to come a part. I am blessed with a job, I have had times where I could not work and I am lucky enough to work right now. I am blessed with a loving husband who loves STILL and knows my darkest days and hardest nights. I am also blessed with a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
   There have been too many times in my life that I have had precious moments of strength from the Savior. I have had quiet times that I have contemplated my part as a mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend and I think that the influence of the teachings of Christ have made me who I am.
  This Christmas season remember why we celebrate it. Cherish your own blessings you have been given and try to recognize the Saviors hand in your life.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

unknown blessing

  Yesterday there was a girl who showed up at my house when my hubby was at work. She said that her company was in the area and they were doing free cleaning and they would clean an entire room. I really wanted to believe her. I have to get my house sparkly clean for tomorrow so I had a very hard time saying no, but something made me say yes. If anything I needed help. So I went on cleaning until two different people showed up none of whom I was expecting.
  One guy immediately got on his phone to say the presentation was starting and he left. It was for a vacuum company. My heart sunk alittle. I was stuck. So I sat there as this young man did his thing and then he noticed my picture of the Salt Lake Temple on the wall. He asked me if I was a member and I said yes and he said he used to be. I asked him what he meant and he said he got baptized when he was younger but he wasn't going at the present time....OK soap box time... I have a really hard time when people take a break from going to church because they say they used to go but they are STILL members... Off my box... During the time that he was there I talked to him as much as he tried to sell me the vacuum. He was baptized at 13 he is 18 now. Born in the Dominican Republic and his family is scattered all over the world. He is the only member and I know how that feels. I told him that he can always go back. I saw many sparks of hope in him and deep down in my heart I hope and pray that he felt the spirit.
  I needed him to come as much as he needed to come. I have been struggling myself through my own demons and it is tough. Satan knows right where to get me and if I had the choice to go or stay. (We all do.) I would never walk away from the gospel that has brought so much peace and blessings in my life. I know the gospel is true and there is nothing that can turn me away. Many have tried to push me the other way and I will not turn my back on what I know is true. Amen.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Beautiful Heartbreak

When I was on my mission I was introduced to Hilary Weeks. An LDS singer/songwriter and I loved the songs I heard that were available from my mission (back in 2001). I have since heard a new song called beautiful heartbreak that I have a lot about lately.

I had it all mapped out in front of me,
Knew just where I wanted to go;
But life decided to change my plans,
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road.

I knew there was no way over it,
So I searched for a way around;
Brokenhearted I started climbin',
And at the top I found...

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights;

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I never dreamed my heart would make it,
I thought about turning around;
But heaven has shown me miracles,
I never would have seen from the ground.

Now I take the rain with the sunshine,
Cause there's one thing that I know;
He picks up the pieces,
Along each broken road.

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I had my seizures back in July and I had to quit my job recently and though some of the changes were welcomed some of them were unexpected and I am adjusting.... It is hard to be able to find the words to form my thoughts and even get them out.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

I am a Child of God

Today was little man's primary program. Every year the children learn songs and perform them in sacrament meeting along with lines that they say. Little man said: Reading my scriptures is a good choice. I am glad that we do read the scriptures and that there would no confusion. My heart was full and I was moved to tears by the sincerity of the words the children spoke.

One song that the children sang that instantly brought tears to my eyes was "I am a Child of God". Little man and I sing this every night before we say prayers and it comforts him and helps put things in perspective for me everyday. Here are the words:

I am a child of God
And He has sent me here
Has given me an earthly home
with parents kind and dear
Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.
Help me find the way
Teach me all that I must do
To live with Him some day.

There are no plainer words to be said and no easier ways to convey what we need to do but to find our way back to our Heavenly Father.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Conference Spring 2013

There were so many good talks that I heard but there was one that I just read yesterday that was from Elder Dieter Utchdorf called " Four Titles" and he has always caught my attention. The quote that I loved that he said  was this;

"We have all seen a toddler learn to walk. He takes a small step and totters. He falls. Do we scold such an attempt? Of course not. What father would punish a toddler for stumbling? We encourage, we applaud, and we praise because with every small step, the child is becoming more like his parents."

This was brought up in Relief Society today and I have been thinking about it a lot. I have been trying to focus more on the positive. We have been very busy the last few weeks. We had Easter the last weekend in March and then Conference weekend the first weekend in April and this weekend we were in Seattle again. I do not think that the people whom I have been surrounded around realize the strength I have felt.
This quote touches me because I have been especially working with the infants/toddlers and I have a few babies that are on the verge of walking and it is so exciting to see them get up and go. I see them fall to their knees and yet I do find myself clapping my hands in accomplishment for the steps they have taken. I do not focus on the stumble. So why do we? We are all striving to become better everyday and if we could see beyond our existence we would see our Father in Heaven cheering us on for our "steps" we took as we became closer to Him.
As we falter, which we will there is a plan in place that will help us get back on our path. This is what purpose the Savior had. We cannot know everything that he endured and did for each one of us and we can not ever repay our debts for His sacrifice. We are so blessed for the atonement and resurrection. Easter has become a very spiritual time for me. I love Christmas because we celebrate the birth of Christ but He gave Himself to die for us and be resurrected. Resurrection to me means no more aliments as well as the atonement which gives us forgiveness and repentance. It is all encompassing and I am so grateful for a loving Redeemer who gave Himself so freely so that we could have all that we have now.

Sunday, March 17, 2013


There are times for me when I do not write... they are my down times.... not times when I relax but times when I am feeling down, not feeling like my best self. I understand the importance of service and helping others but I am so tired sometimes...l. physically tired and I wonder if I cannot run faster than I have strength than what can I do?

I become selfish and wonder where are my light houses to look for.. and then they have been there the whole time but I was too busy being inward instead of paying attention to life happening around me. People love you they are always trying to reach out, its just not the people you would expect... Heavenly Father knows what we need more than we do. Trust in Him.